For me, I never knew I had a problem. I thought I was fine until a psychiatrist I had been seeing for years told me she thought I might be Bipolar. I was a little scared at 15 to learn that there was actually something wrong with me. But I thought back and realized that I might have had problems in the past, people had just told me, “Everyone has problems as a teenager. You’re not a special case.” I started doing massive research on Bipolar Disorder and now have at least 10 books related to it, depression, or being happy. Their authors range from doctors, psychiatrists, poets, and even the Dalai Lama! I even have bunches of websites dedicated to mental illness or even specifically Bipolar bookmarked in Firefox. So, now I’m prepared to share with you things that I found interesting or informational.
I have a book called “A Brilliant Madness” by Patty Duke and Gloria Hochman. It tells of Patty’s story in Gloria’s words, in addition to being a fantastic resource for scientific information and personal stories from other patients. Though it was published in 1992 originally, I have found much of the info to still be quite relevant. The only thing I warn readers is that it is a lot of information scattered through Patty’s story and may be overwhelming to a beginner.
This is the excerpt from the insert of the book where Patty’s doctor explains the diagnosis and Patty explains how she felt when she first was diagnosed. I’m not sure the exact age she was but it was later on in her life than I was. BTW, Anna, is Patty’s real name.
A Disease? Thank God!
“Anna, I have supposed for a long time now that you may have a condition that I want to discuss with you. I didn’t make this diagnosis before because it’s a very difficult one to make. It is a diagnosis that comes with a painful stigma, and I didn’t want to hang you with that and be wrong. Don’t be frightened but I think you are manic-depressive.”
Even now, it’s weird to tell you what my reaction was. In my entire life I had heard the words “manic-depressive” only three or four times-in some completely unrelated way, certainly nothing to do with me. But the words just made sense. As my psychiatrist said them, I remember nodding my head as if I had known this all along. They were the best two words I had ever heard. They described how it felt to be me.
-From A Brilliant Madness
I would recommend reading at least the parts of this book that interest you or may apply to you because it is so concise and very informational. It also gives you a chance to relate to some stories other people have, not just those with Bipolar I, though that is the majority of the information because Patty is Bipolar I.
-Katy